She's not technically a scouser, d espite the fact she might sound like she's straight outta Brookside to you.
She'll be called a scouser by all of your friends and everybody else south of Birmingham - anyone that is, except for actual genuine scousers who will refer to her as a 'wool'. Technically she's a Wirralien, if you wanna get super accurate.
Anyway, you think she's scouse? Wait 'til you meet her mates. Especially the ones from New Brighton and Wallasey. And the fateful day that you're finally introduced to her pals from across the River Mersey? You might wanna bring a translator with you, pal.
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She's not from Wirral. She's from THE Wirral. Give it the proper title it deserves. Get yourself clued up on what a Peninsula is for. At least pretend to vaguely care when she starts to explain it to you, because it's an important fact.
And try your best to find it cute and not weird when she refers to it as the Paradise Peninsula in Facebook statuses. You haven't seen her at her worst 'til you go to The Krazyhouse, Garlands or Birkenvegas with. These might sound like strange lands to you, and it's pretty likely that she hasn't graced these dancefloors since she was about But on those big nights where anything can happen, try your No 1 dating sites of Colchester to somehow still find her vaguely attractive when she's straddling the giant Rhino on K3 Number of singles in Birkenhead 'Show Me Love' with Smirn Offs in her hand.
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Daniel Match Washington free trial is pretty much the only sexy famous man who's come from around her neighbourhood.
Paul Hollywood is also from around these parts, but he doesn't really count, does he? The only thing she'll want to do in summer is go straight to Parkgate.
No seriously. You think you've had ice cream and fish and chips before, but you've never had them quite like.
Nicholls mint choc chip for life, but it will only be your reward after you've spent at least two hours trying to park. Don't ever worry about taking her somewhere fancy, because anywhere is Birkenheead step up from Birkenhead Pyramids tbh. The shopping precinct that God forgot, only ever visited when you get your first minimum wage job in the Primark, or when your mum needs a new top and you really can't be arsed to go over to Liverpool.
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